Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "
______________________________________________
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected"
He is not sure of the question. After much thought, he writes " Yes "
______________________________________________
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" Ah
Beng : "I'll buy it"
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?" Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"
__________________________________________________
After taking photocopies of documents,
Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
__________________________________________________
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks god is taking his picture.
__________________________________________________
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help ah but it's been over half an hour & still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"
___________________________________________________
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring Lah - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear Lah"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what happened to the other ear ?"
Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called again Lah !!!!"
____________________________________________________
Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng : "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator : "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU Lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
_____________________________________________________
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time,
Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".
______________________________________________________
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE", and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED Lah"
Sunday 11 May 2008
AH BENG'S JOB INTERVIEW!
Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"
Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"
"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"
Ah Beng got the job.
BROKEN LIFT!
SENG, Beng, and Heng were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite at the top of a 75-storey skyscraper.
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the lifts in the hotel had broken down and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Seng said to Beng and Heng: 'Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting.
'I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Beng can sing songs for 25 flights, and Heng can tell sad stories the rest of the way.'
At the 26th floor, Seng stopped telling jokes and Beng began to sing.
At the 51st floor, Beng stopped singing and Heng began to tell sad stories.
'I will tell my saddest story first,' he said.
'I left the room key in the car!
AH BENG WAS ASKED TO MAKE A SENTENCE USING 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!
This is what he came up with
1 fine day I go 2 climb up a 3 bed-room apartment to peep. After being seen by the couple in the room, I got panic and had a great 4. The man rushed out and had a 5 with me. I run away to 6 for help. End up running into 7 eleven, I grab some 8 and throw at him and pull out a 9 to stab at him. And 10 hor ...10 hor... 10 .... he die lor..
continuation of the story....
.....and 10 hor .....10 hor .... I put the 9 back on the shelf and pay for 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day I 'kor' my boss to say I am 6. He say 5. Tomorrow also don need to come back 4 work. He also say go climb a 3 and jump. I don understand. I nice 2 him but I don know what he 1?
Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"
Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"
"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"
Ah Beng got the job.
BROKEN LIFT!
SENG, Beng, and Heng were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite at the top of a 75-storey skyscraper.
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the lifts in the hotel had broken down and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Seng said to Beng and Heng: 'Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting.
'I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Beng can sing songs for 25 flights, and Heng can tell sad stories the rest of the way.'
At the 26th floor, Seng stopped telling jokes and Beng began to sing.
At the 51st floor, Beng stopped singing and Heng began to tell sad stories.
'I will tell my saddest story first,' he said.
'I left the room key in the car!
AH BENG WAS ASKED TO MAKE A SENTENCE USING 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!
This is what he came up with
1 fine day I go 2 climb up a 3 bed-room apartment to peep. After being seen by the couple in the room, I got panic and had a great 4. The man rushed out and had a 5 with me. I run away to 6 for help. End up running into 7 eleven, I grab some 8 and throw at him and pull out a 9 to stab at him. And 10 hor ...10 hor... 10 .... he die lor..
continuation of the story....
.....and 10 hor .....10 hor .... I put the 9 back on the shelf and pay for 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day I 'kor' my boss to say I am 6. He say 5. Tomorrow also don need to come back 4 work. He also say go climb a 3 and jump. I don understand. I nice 2 him but I don know what he 1?
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